What Dating a Dominatrix / Submissive Switch Taught me

Theories are the points of origination for a number of things in the world of human beings. The aspect of sexuality and fetishes has also been one of them. The reason why we would be saying so is that everything has its point of inception and is actually triggered by an individual or a set of events in a progressive manner.
Most of the events in the world have been backed by theories and some of them have triggered the international media to rather unconventional limits. For instance, the moon landing has been causing a lot of controversy with a set of pessimists bringing forth their very own theory about how it was faked. Nonetheless one can say that the ends of human sexuality have also been subjected to such theories, especially with regards to its point of inception.
Where does the manifestation of sexual fantasies take place?
The inception of sexual fantasies has a whole lot to do with past experiences. Nobody can randomly grow a fetish or a certain preference for something that they have not been subjected to, especially if it has the induction of pain and discomfort.
Research suggests that there may be a past experience associated with people that are portraying such behaviours related to BDSM. For instance the person may have been spanked as a kid that may have triggered this fetish for masochism. Similarly the person may have been attracted to the human feet or any other specific unconventional body part, thus triggering a liking towards it.
Now the person may or may not have been spanked intentionally in their childhood, but either way that experience has been etched in the mind of the person which later manifested in the form of a sexual preference. The spanking would have triggered a sensation of pleasure in the mind of the person and this has been the major reason behind the manifestation of the sexual fantasy in the person.
Is this behavioural characteristic normal?
The human behaviour is not bound to any form of limits. In reality we are social beings that learn or derive from several experiences. A set of events that may have taken place a very long time ago can be a major cause for the inception of behaviour.
When it comes to the sexual fantasies of a person, there are a large number of factors which may initiate the set of preferences. We are naturally influenced with respect to our sexual behaviour through media like television daily soaps, movies and porn videos as well. Even these could be the trigger for any form of behaviour that we may want to practise in our sexual advances.
The best and the most ideal explanation would be with regards to the fact that such an ordeal can be associated with the human mind and its advancement in the modern age. The human mind is a complex machine which is capable of deriving a lot of information and storing it over a long period of time. It is a computer which processes information in a dormant manner until the right time has come.

People have been subjecting themselves to this unconventional kind of sexual relationships where they are intended on trying something new and different. Over the years, the regularity of BDSM in the lives of the people can be noted to have exponentially gone up.
This human is owing to the inquisitive mindset of the human nature. We are always reluctant on trying out something different which pushes us to the edge of imagination. In this case we have been subjected to the same circumstances and with the availability of media components, out urge to try out such new stuff tend to manifest it even better.
Are there people actually into S &M?

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Sadism and Masochism are the lesser known components of this practise and there has been a lot of debate off lately with regards to this aspect as well. Typically a sadist is a person that enjoys hurting other people physically and mentally. In the acts of sexual encounters such people tend to be the dominant ones and hurt their partner to extract sexual pleasure.
On the other hand the masochist is the person that likes to be put through pain and hurt by their partner. This can be envisioned as an extreme form of submission which stretches beyond any known form of convention.
Research suggests that there are increasing numbers of couples in the modern era that are into S&M. These couples have a completely variant form of sexual fantasy which drives them to application of such measures. However on a larger scale this isn’t an unusual behaviour. Transcending personal pleasure into sexual encounters has always been persistent and people that extract pleasure through pain and physical contact aren’t new to such practises.
This proposition in general is far beyond conventional sex. It is also a state of mind which is not inherited by a lot of people. This is a pure example of the fact that exploring one’s sexuality over a long period of time in an intense manner can certainly unveil some astonishing facts. The inception of such an aspect might have been through something rather strange, for instance an event that may have triggered this rather unusual fetish for pain.
Is this form of sexual behaviour normal?
From a conventional point of view, this kind of behaviour might sound reasonably debatable, but in reality we have to accept the fact that we have been sadists or masochists at some point or the other. Every human is ought to go through this phase where we may have hurt someone or let someone hurt us.
There are certain set of people that may have actually gained pleasure from such an experience owing to which the inception of such a fetish took place. Determining whether this kind of a behaviour is normal or not would be a controversy as any sort of behavioural instinct in human tends to be learned and a result of evolution. Especially when it comes to sexuality, the limits of conventional human imagination are really stretched.  
 

One of the most amazing aspects of BDSM tends to be the fact that acts performed under this genre need not be physical all of the time. It is quite commonly observed that people like indulging in non-penetrative sex and also like to perform them verbally. The best thing about BDSM with retrospect to the aforementioned fact is that it can be enacted upon under any circumstances.
Having sexual encounters verbally is quite common. It can be through chat messages, phone calls and anything else. The act of dominance and submission has been quite common in this field as well since there have been coupled indulging in this remote from of sexual encounter quite frequently.
Does the experience satisfy individuals sensually?
The experience of indulging in Submission and dominance can be quite intimidating without the quotient of physical pleasure as well. When such an act is performed virtually over the phone or any other media, the sensual stimulation does take place in the brain.
Arousing someone sexually has a major connection to the hormones secreted in the body. The aspect of foreplay helps to make the sexual encounter pleasing and a satisfying one. This foreplay can be virtual or physical as well. The encounter at times transcends to such a phase that the individuals associated with the act are intensely aroused owing to which they may also experience sexual orgy.
When the brain centre controlling the pleasure quotient of a person sexually tends to be triggered beyond conventional limits, the most intense form of pleasure is felt. The act of sexually arousing a person over virtual media is thus a possible way of influencing and sexually satisfying a person.
Dominance and Submission in a sensual relationship
In a relationship involving dominance and submission, the person that generally tends to take a lead on the situation is termed as the dominant partner. On the other hand the counterparts are submissive. There is no gender bar in this kind of a regime as both males and females can be dominant and submissive at the same time.
Often couples are seen to switch their roles midway during the sexual encounter. This is quite common among couples practising BDSM and such a role switch can be enacted a multiple number of times during a sexual encounter.
The switch in the role is generally mutual and negotiable. In such a case the partners are seen performing the act a number of times to attain the most off their sexual encounter. It is also reported that such an act helps to preserve the intensity of the sexual act. It makes things quite sensual and arouses individuals in a seemingly prolific manner.
The act of BDSM can thus be seen to have a psychological resemblance as it can be performed by all means. It is an integral component of “sexual revival” in the modern world where people are intrigued on trying out something new and intriguing. It is a step towards a sexual modernization that would essentially allow partners to break the barriers of “physicality only” in sexual acts.   

Dominance and Submission from an integral point of view
The concept of dominance and submission has been widely common in erotic encounters. People have been indulging themselves within this act from a very long period of time since the inception of the phase when acts of sexuality began to be explored.
With the ascendancy of time, people have been taking their fascinations on to a complete different level and it is quite understandable from the fact that we are always intrigued on trying out something completely different. Dominance and submission is basically a subpart of BDSM, an erotic manoeuvre which enables the partners to indulge in a sensuous role-play.
People have different set of fantasies
When interacting with the partner, many couples confess to the fact that they like to be dominated by their better half. It is completely irrespective of the gender and the partners associated tend to do it from their own will.

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Dominance and Submission predominantly is a behaviour which is surfaced from internal sensual desires. It is a characteristic feature of the person’s very own mindset with respect to their sexual desires and fantasies.
Most people often tend to confuse it between being behaviour, custom or even a ritual. Predominantly it is a behavioural characteristic. It can be totally different among people originating from different backgrounds. It is also persistent among all types of sexual encounters, be it long term relationships or even the casual ones. The mind in such individuals tentatively likes to be under the leadership (in this aspect “dominance”) as they feel aroused with such a manoeuvre.
From a statistical point of view, people mostly associate submission with the aspects of women; however the truth lies in the fact that this behaviour is also present and quite profound among males. The mindset of the individual and their character from a sexual point of view tends to make them either dominant or submissive.
The person that takes the form of the dominant partner is generously more profound in bed during sexual encounters and erotic episodes. In easier language they are the ones that take the initiative of the sensual regime. Their partners on the other hand are the ones that enjoy sexual encounters when being ordered. The submissive behaviour in this aspect is retrospective to the fact that sensually they feel aroused when being controlled by their partner.
As a subset of BDSM
As a subset of BDSM, as it is commonly referred to; ‘D’ and ‘S’ denotes Dominance and Submission. Sexual encounters in this phase are completely different from the conventional ones. The ‘wild’ quotient in this kind of a relationship is more prolific and well defined.
Conventional sex basically has the partners engaging in sexual activities in an equal manner. Both the partners take control of the act and are neither submissive nor dominant. It is more of an act which includes sensuousness rather than being a fascination or an erotica as well. BDSM can thus be defined as the set of behaviours which influences the sexual act in an intimidating as par the nature of the participants. 

It is impeccable that we have an idea of where we are supposed to draw the line. During the acts of a sensual encounter, being able to draw the line at the right point may have a major role to play. When it comes to emphasizing on the wildest dreams and desires of an individual, having the requisite consent is really important.
As a matter of fact it can be the deciding factor as to whether or not the relationship would have a future. People often fail to realize the fact that there is a very fine line between consent and compulsion. This line is often breached and therefore the most deleterious results take place. The important thing that we need to realize is where we are supposed to draw the line.
So how do we begin with the act?
Manifesting sexual desires into the real world actually calls in for a lot of guts. We are absolutely blank regarding how our counterparts are going to react and therefore we may not have the best of idea about anything. It can also lead us to lose our way and in turn engage into something which is completely unacceptable.
The fine line between consent and compulsion can be best understood from an integral point of view. It is best we communicate with our partners and let them know of our desires and sexual thoughts.
In such a way the participants can expect a generous talk with respect to the topic such that they get to know about what they both want.
Often a mutual agreement is brought up where the partners are ensured of the acts that they are going to undertake. At times however, the entire ordeal is not this well-defined. Sometimes the partners willingly decide to go with the flow and let the things happen on its own. This is where there are chances of compulsion tend to kick in. In order to avoid a compulsive situation, it would be better to understand the comfort ratio of the partner. If they are comfortable with the act then it is a green signal, but anything apart from it might be indicative of something else.
There have been instances when people have crossed the line and ended up under the instances of compulsion while being carried away with the flow of the events.
What if we are not able to decipher the fine line?
In case if we are unsure of where the line stretches to, it would be better to have a complete conversation with the partner. It may be an incredibly tough ordeal for the people that tend to be reserved, but it’s always good to have a healthy chat before engaging into sex with the partners.
A conversation is actually the best way to bring about the prospects of one’s preference. It entitles both of the people to understand the need of the hour and how they must get on with the act for the best of results surrounding their sexual fantasies.
 
 

One of the most consistent factors in any type of a relationship revolving around the concept of BDSM has been stereotyping the person. It is often made to believe that the person taking on the role of the dominant individual needs to be an alpha in real life or is rather an alpha in real life.
To be honest, this convention is not completely true as stereotyping an individual based on their professional life would be absolutely baseless. The proposition however is partly correct owing to the fact that a major proportion of the dominatrix comprises of the alpha males in real life. Basically these people are businessmen, entrepreneurs and team leaders that have to deal with the stigma of being an “alpha” in their real life.
Why do we have such a high proportion of BDSM “alpha” clients?
One of the key elements that play a major role in such a high number of corporate individuals as clients is the fact that they have to deal with a lot of stress on a daily basis. The “alpha” nature of their life plays a dominant role in bringing about the prospects of having to deal with a lot of responsibilities.
In such a case the person generally tends to be submissive as they wish to be dominated and feel the mesmerising act for real. What is astounding is the fact that this role reversal is what one would least expects to happen. But at the end of the day being debarred from conventional life owing to the stigma of being the “alpha” is often way too much.
The question is that why do these people engage in such activities on such a prolific scale? Well the answer lies in the fact that having sensual encounters is a major form of stress buster. During any form of a sensual encounter, the hormones secreted by the hypothalamus helps the person to relax and drift away from the tensions and perils of daily life.
The deepest of secret desires within any man gives an insight into the lives of the person. It enables us to see what the person is from within. The corporate clients that tend to be the “alpha” in their profession maybe longing be in a relationship where they would be submissive in nature. They may have a softer side to themselves which they wish to explore through the pathway of the desires that they have.
A lot of successful businessmen are engaging themselves in BDSM
Over the years, a large number of businessmen from various parts of the world have been engaging in the act of BDSM. This can be related to the fact that they have to deal with a lot of corporate pressure on a daily basis. Such a regime has a major impact on their personal life.
BDSM is one such aspect of sexual encounter which can essentially take the person off the charts. It is simply another whole new dimension to sex which works as a therapy. It essentially brings about a completely new aspect to the individual.

One of the most comprehensive elements about a sensual relationship that revolves around the concept of submission and dominance tends to be the initial discomfort that the participants may feel. This discomfort or hesitation is present in most of the people as they are not able to break through the shell on the level of inception.
In order to make the act a mesmerising one, it is important that the partners stand up for themselves. This issue may be present in both the partners or may affect any one of them. Gaining a head-start completely depends on the mindset of the individual. What we people need to realize is the fact that kinky desires tend to be quite natural and can be present in almost anyone out there. There isn’t anything unusual about it and therefore being open about it is not an issue at all.
Having a specific fantasy but not being able to talk about it
Often people have a very specific fantasy in their mind but hesitate about speaking of it. It is quite natural and especially for the first timers. To render comfort, it would be helpful to know that the conception of vanilla sex is rather out-dated in the present age.
People are more reluctant on trying out something different which would help them to elude the same old stuff during a sensual encounter. Being social beings we are meant to communicate and relay our feelings to the partner.
From the point of view of a partner, we also expect to be trusted and being communicated with. People have sensual desires and several fantasies which often are pretty amazing. According to research, the human species is rather more interested towards sexual evolution which makes them think out of the box.
Till date, porn has been one of the major ways by virtue of which people have been gaining a hold of such fantasies. In the real world however, we consider porn fantasising as taboo. It is important that we break these limits and freely engage in exploring our sexuality.
The fear of rejection
One of the other major reasons as to why partners generally stay bound to limits is the fear of rejection. What they fail to realize is the fact that the problem related to rejection is only a mirage and generally non-existent. The person would hesitate fearing the fact that they might inflict a wrong image in the mind of their partners, but the reality is far from what we see.
While engaging in any form of a sexual act, we expect to catch a glimpse of the inner thoughts within our partners. We are always reluctant on being able to see what they are from the inside. People have confessed to the fact that they appreciate this quotient of trust ahead of any discomfort. Such fantasies can make a sensual act rather pleasing and more satisfying. If the person is willing to open up their heart and speak with contention, then the emotional ecstasy during a sexual event transcends to a completely new level.    

Not the typical fantasies surrounding woman
The sexual regime of a man is rather fascinating. There is absolutely no assurance of the fact as to what the man would want at a certain point. People from different backgrounds have had the most unusual fantasies, some being completely out of this world.
All throughout these days, we have been dealing with a number of individuals that hail from various backgrounds. To be fair enough one would have the experience of interacting with a rather very unusual set of people. To some these experiences might be quite new and fascinating, but when taken into account from an integral point of view, we would come to know that these people are actually lost.
Men that are unsure of what they want
It may be quite common for a certain set of men to have very little knowledge of what exactly they are looking forward to. They are at times unsure of what they want, or rather what their fantasy is. These people are essentially blank, but not retarded.
It is quite common for men to go blank in terms of their sexual desires. It does not mean that they have absolutely no idea whatsoever of what they are doing, but in reality it is a conflict within the mind. These people that I have been dealing with have an internal conflict. The conflict is about expressing and exploring the sexuality. The reason why most of us tend to be sure of what we desire is because we explore and dare to go beyond the conventional realms.
There have been instances where I have had to take a number of phone calls from various prospective clients. I would actually address this as an odd pleasure since it allowed me to catch a glimpse of a completely new mindset. I realized that people at times can be quite lost. These people are actually mostly loners that have been debarred from the essential feeling of being loved. Some also tend to be loners by choice but we will not be getting to that.
Well then, how do we interact with them?
The case in here with respect to such men is actually both funny and sensitive. At such times we need to take the initiative and help them realize what they are looking for. Subconsciously we are actually aware of what we want, but we fail to realize or rather interpret it consciously.
Typically we would be asking the clients what they want, like the colour of skin, stature of the individual or if they have any other preferences. Asking these people about their fantasies isn’t a nice option since it only makes them feel more uncomfortable. The best way to approach such people would be through physical descriptions. Asking these people about the physical needs would actually shed some light on what they need.
These kinds of people are actually pretty common in the modern age. Over the period of time, such numbers have been steadily on the rise and with each passing day I have been learning more about the human nature, which in a way is pretty interesting.  

In terms of sexual acts, many partners may not actually be able to say so, but in reality they have an indefinite liking towards being dominated. In terms of a sexual relationship, it is pretty common for people to have their very own set of desires and fantasies. Being the submissive one or the dominant one is just one of it.
Over the years, acts of role-play and BDSM have been quite common in sexual acts. It is owing to the fact that people are now willing to explore newer ways of making things pleasing and sensual. The acts under the genre of BDSM are specially associated with enhancement of sexual pleasures in an unconventional manner. It has been finding its way to modern households, especially among the new generation couples that are more than intrigued on exploring their intimate fantasies.